I have not written in such a while had a slight set back with life in general. Lost job, new job, kids, spouse career changes revaluation of my life.  Yesterday I took a good look at myself in the mirror and came to find my immortality staring right at me, it was just me. My own image aged, grey haired, wrinkles tattered and frayed around the edges. A lasting image of my perception of who I am deep inside. I realized that my mortal clock is ticking and feels heavy, a giant pendulum back and forth in one same motion. I feel as it is stuck in one swiping motion, but really it has not; it's that my life is routine. My kids are growing up matured and set for their future planes. the mortal clock is slowing down and feels it needs to be regenerated some how. I guess I am one of those early fifty something and contemplating a mid-life crises. It's not like I am going to go take up sky diving or pudgy jumping off a bridge; I am not that crazy I have my limits.

I guess I should count my blessings that my kids are really good kids, my parents are both alive and well active as hell riding around on their motorcycle. My marriage of twenty years is still a racing heart pounding love every time I see him; like the first time we met. What I am saying is what do I want for myself after taking care of everyone else's needs damn it my turn. A couple of options are to dedicate my spare time to writing taking all my short stories and poems and publish them, or go back to school and work on a PhD in educational philosophy an educational marriage of up to six years of Post Doc work. More to think about for the long run. I was asked by my husband Michael where do you see yourself in five to ten years. My response I have no idea, I hate questions like that, can't I take it one day at a time and live in the moment please!

More to think about.