Finding my happiness,

If being happy is to be happy to the sound of music, or watching the sunset in the desert sky. It does for me at times of solitude, being down or feeling alone. Here I am listening to, Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller. It does bring a tear to my eye, but it reminds me of the love my grandparents had for each other, even though it was not a picture perfect marriage. Being happy is just a temporary emotion for some and I can say for myself. My happiness has it's highs and lows. Finding your happiness is finding it in yourself, not being forced to be happy. I think often I am at my own fault of trying so damn hard to please others all the time, going out of my way to make others happy. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with helping others, but I feel I'm like an obedient Border Collie. I do have a Border Collie and she is always wanting to make me happy, those big brown eyes, her tender smiles the way her head sets to the side and her tail waging in circles, she never leaves my side; she is the little mommy of the house; always looking to please others as I do. Hmm funny to think it that way, but it is true.

The search for my happiness is to feel that I am proud, not ashamed of "me"; who I am, my achievements. To stop trying to be something that I am not to please others because of their off the wall fantasies or desires. My accomplishments may not be great, but they are mine alone with a little help of encouragement from others who believed in me.